Chasing Lightness
by dear-lovely
Summary: After being unexpectedly left at the altar, Lily Evans just wanted this wretched day to end.


This story was written for the Eleventh Round of the Seventh Season of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition. I'm writing as Beater 1 for the Tutshill Tornados.

Name of the round: **Love Them or Hate Them**

Prompt for Beater 1: **A character defects from the light side to join the dark.** _(Restriction: not Peter)_

These are the optional prompts I'm using:

5\. (dialogue) **"Wait a minute, what just happened here?"**9\. (color) **burnt gold**14\. (emotion) **anger**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. J.K. Rowling owns everything from the Harry Potter universe.

Thanks to my team for betaing!

Edit: I wrote this story when I was slightly jet-lagged and very sleep-deprived, so I made a couple of mistakes. The story hasn't changed (and it will never be changed), but I still wanted to fix some errors.

Happy reading!~

* * *

Title: **Chasing Lightness**

Word Count: 3019

* * *

Lily Evans sat inside the bridal room of the chapel in Godric's Hollow, feeling both anxious and disappointed. The room was filled with a hundred guests, waiting for the groom to arrive. He should've been here by now. According to the itinerary, they should've been married right around this minute.

But alas, she was still where they'd done her makeup and hair for her special day. Well, what was _supposed _to be her special day. _Their _special day.

Someone knocked on her door. Lily sat straight up, anticipating her maid of honor with good news. Instead, her mother crept in with a somber face.

"Mum? What is it? Is James here yet?" Lily asked.

With a frown ghosting on her face, her mother barely shook her head. It was enough for Lily to understand.

The room became too constricting for her. Not enough air, not enough space. If she didn't get out of here soon, she'd never get out of there alive.

"I've got to go," she stated as a matter of fact. Without waiting for a response, she fled the church.

* * *

The overgrown dirt road wasn't ideal for a runaway bride. Was she considered a runaway bride if her groom had never come to begin with? There was no one to run away from, per se. Except for the hundred people who had cleared their busy lives to celebrate her and James.

Lily kicked the rock near her shoe-less foot. At least she hadn't opted for a heavy gown or else she'd be in incredible pain at the moment. The first time she'd seen this backless, beaded mermaid-style dress, her eyes had watered on the spot. It was the perfect dress to get married in. It also was the perfect dress to hike in, proven by the fact that she'd been trekking through the treacherous forest and rural land for hours with only several rips at the bottom to attest for the journey.

She lifted her eyes from the ground and witnessed the perfect golden sunset burning down the sky on the most terrible day of her life. Merlin, had they picked the perfect day for a wedding. Maybe she should stop thinking about how this day should've gone. Or maybe not, and let herself wallow in misery. All she knew was that she wanted this wretched day to end— and soon.

There was a distinct rumbling sound behind Lily. A white Austin A40 Farina sputtered down the country road followed by a sad clanging of white-painted cans. When she glanced over to the driver's seat, her face immediately turned the color of her hair.

"Severus Snape! _What. Are. You. Doing. Here?_" Lily demanded as she walked up to the car.

"Get inside, and I'll explain why," he said.

At that moment, she felt her feet ache and her muscles strain from all the walking she'd done for the past several hours. Knowing that there was no way around it, she entered the vehicle.

As soon as she settled inside, she barked, "Explain now."

He shifted gears and started driving. "You invited me to your wedding. I arrived late only to find out the wedding has been canceled because the groom never appeared and the bride ran away in distress. Since I was the only one left who knew how to drive, they commissioned me to go and find you." He looked at her. "That's all, I swear."

She sighed. "I didn't think you'd come."

"I didn't either. That's why it took me so long to arrive."

Lily noticed the direction they were headed; they weren't returning to the church. "Where are you taking me?"

He stayed mum for a couple of moments, then responded. "I know a pub near here. I thought you needed to forget today somehow."

"Oh… that's thoughtful," she squeaked.

He let out a chuckle. "You seem surprised by it."

"Believe me, Severus, nothing can surprise me anymore after today."

* * *

"_Close your eyes! It's a surprise!" James shouted._

_Lily let out a melodic laugh. "You know I hate surprises, J," she whined with a smile._

"_Oi, come off it! You'll love this one, I swear."_

"_Alright! I'm trusting you just this once. If it's a prank—"_

_He interrupted with a joyful cackle. "I promise it's not a prank."_

_She sighed. "I dunno if I like the sound of that…"_

_His hands stopped pushing her towards any direction. "Remove your blindfold!"_

_The world around her suddenly brightened, then adjusted to the decked-out Gryffindor common room._

"_Surprise! Happy birthday, Lily!" all the voices yelled at once._

_Lily gasped. "Oh my god! Is this really happening?"_

_James's face came into view, his face crinkled in happiness. "Sure is! Were you surprised?"_

"_I've never been thrown a surprise party before!" She gleefully clapped her hands. "Thank you, J. I absolutely love you!"_

_His face froze in shock, then quickly morphed into one of true bliss. With an ear-to-ear grin, he responded, "I absolutely love you too, L."_

* * *

The car hit a nasty bump on the road, causing Lily to come back to reality. Acutely aware of the situation she was in now, fury filled her entire being as she cast away the once-treasured memory. Surely someone who absolutely loved her wouldn't betray her like he had earlier that day. She shook her head to get rid of her existing thoughts.

At last, the car rolled up to a small pub. The bass of the music was barely heard but was felt everywhere as it electrified the outside. As they entered the building, the sound of the electric guitar blasted them a screeching welcome.

The hefty bartender gave a small nod towards Severus when they approached the bar. "The usual, Tobias?"

She looked over to him with both eyebrows raised, to which he subtly shook his head. "Two, please." Severus gestured to Lily.

The bartender took a glance at the redhead, noticed her current state, and dove into making their drinks. It wasn't a minute until several glasses filled with liquid the color of burnt gold stood in front of the pair, which was received with astonished faces. "On the house," he gruffed. "Must've been a helluva day."

Lily brightened for the first time that day since her makeup was finished in the morning. "Thank you. That's very nice of you."

He briskly nodded and turned to serve the other customers.

"Real considerate, that Harold is…" Severus muttered.

* * *

"_You know, my Uncle Harold said—"_

_Lily gasped. "You have an Uncle Harold? _I _have an Uncle Harold!"_

_James was slack-jawed. "He didn't have a balding head and a muffin top the size of a watermelon, right? It'd be weird at this stage of our relationship if we find out we're related."_

_She slapped his arm. "No, of course not. My Uncle Harold is lanky with too much hair to deal with."_

"_Then we shall commemorate our Uncle Harolds! We'll name our son Harry—Harriet if it's a girl," James stated outright._

"_Wouldn't it be confusing at family reunions?" Lily questioned._

"_Not if we refer to our Harry as the cute one," he retorted._

"_Then that settles it!" Lily stared down at her nonexistent baby bump. "Can't wait to meet you, cute Harry."_

* * *

A hand waved in front of Lily's face. "Hello? Earth to Lily?" Severus drawled.

She bolted upright, her jaw clenched from her recent recollection. "Sorry, were you saying something?"

"You just blanked out there for a second. I was just commenting on how generous Harold was. Are you alright?" Severus's face had concern written all over.

A sigh took over her body, and Lily took a generous sip of her drink. Her throat burned, but her mind welcomed the searing pain the liquid gold brought her. "We were supposed to name our firstborn Harold, you know, after our Uncle Harolds. J—"

Severus coughed before she could say his name.

"—I mean, _he_ thought it was hilarious that we both had an Uncle Harold."

"It's not a special name, is it? Why would it be funny in the slightest?"

Lily shrugged in irritation. "He had a strange sense of humor, I guess."

"Yes, because being related to a Harold and calling me Snivellus is the epitome of comedic gold," Severus sneered.

She rolled her eyes. "He was immature back then—"

Severus barked a disbelieving laugh. "Are you _still_ defending him? After what he's done today?"

Silence befell on them. Not dignifying his question with a response, Lily threw back the rest of her drink. All she felt was her vexation being multiplied by the amount of liquor she'd consumed since they entered the pub. She was vexed that the man she thought she knew had let her down in the most terrible way possible. She was also irritated at the fact that the man she thought was unsalvageable turned out to be decent at her time of need. Most importantly, she was cross with herself because of how wrong she'd been and how she'd never noticed until now. She chugged another glass down swiftly to suppress her chagrin.

"He's intolerably arrogant, Lily. Always has been, always will be. You knew how rotten he was until you fell for his charms, so why would you expect something different from him?"

She shook her head slightly, resigned to her stupidity. "I dunno. Before we got together, I could tell he changed from that childish bully to this vulnerable man. That's what attracted me to him, his newly-evolved maturity. If there were red flags, I'd chosen to ignore them because I thought his transition was hard enough and I should cut him some slack." Her finger slowly traced over the outer lip of her filled glass, emitting a dull whistle. "Still, I never thought any of this would happen to me. To _us_. Clearly, I was wrong…"

Severus slid his drink and lightly clinked it with hers, wisps of gold swirling from the impact. She tore her eyes from the glass and met his steely gaze. "Cheers, Lil," he softly toasted to her.

She weakly smiled, the emotion failing to reach her eyes. "Cheers, Sev."

Together, they downed their sorrows with the burning liquor. No words were spoken as they finished off Harold's generosity, slowly but surely, until they saw nothing save for each other in golden spirals. Second by second, their minds frayed off into spirals of golden sparks, burning in the sky like fireworks. They felt both sluggish and unstoppable—nothing could bring them down with the help of exquisite alcohol by their side.

Once the bartender caught them both inadvertently swaying with the wind, he escorted them up the stairs in the back of the pub and rattled open the door to a small bedroom to lay them properly within the twin-sized bed as to not let them choke on their vomit.

The last thing Lily felt before the fire inside her flickered away into unconsciousness was a cool breeze— one that chilled her to the core.

* * *

Lily felt downright nauseous. She rubbed her eyes with her fist, staring clearly at the vomit seeping through the cracks of the dust-filled floor. "Wait a minute, what just happened here?" she croaked out. This hangover was unlike any she'd sported before, given that she had never before drunk as much as she did last night in the small amount of time that they did.

_Shit_. Severus was here. She reached over to find his body without lifting her head from its current position, but all she felt was the bareness of the mattress. There was a warm imprint, meaning that he'd risen out of bed recently. Begrudgingly, she twisted her head towards the foot of the bed, where she spotted Severus being choked by a skeletal arm around his neck and her wand being stabbed into his temple. Her eyes immediately flew to the face of his strangler. Shock charged her to the core when she registered who he was.

"Sleep well, sweetheart?" Voldemort's voice filled the room and slithered underneath her skin.

Knowing that she didn't have magic on her side, Lily grabbed the lamp at the bedside table, only for it to crash into pieces when Voldemort redirected the wand at her, squeezing her throat and lifting her into midair. She clawed the invisible hand constricting her airway, which only made his grip on her tighter.

"Tsk tsk, silly Mudblood. The more you struggle, the worse it becomes." His taunts made every hair on her body stand straight, but she managed to let go of her throat and stick her arms to her sides. "Imagine how I reacted when Severus didn't answer my summons, only to find out that he'd blown me off to chase the end of the bottle with Hogwarts's filthy golden trophy. At first, I was furious, and understandably so. Then, as I watched you pathetic fools trying to slumber in this sad excuse of a bed, I thought to myself that it would be satisfying to watch you be tormented until your death. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that burnt gold is still gold and that you are far more useful to me alive than dead. So I've decided to save your life to better mine. _Imperio_!"

Up until that moment, Lily hadn't realized he'd switch her wand for his own to cast the Unforgivable.

Yet, it didn't feel unforgivable. It felt _alleviating_.

No more stress, no more problems, and especially no more resentment towards herself or anyone else.

Lily felt as light as a feather, and she was already addicted to this feeling.

"You're welcome," a voice snaked inside her consciousness, but it didn't make her feel anything at all.

All she felt was lightness.

And she loved it.

* * *

_13 Years Later…_

"Master, we have a special guest coming in now. We've all been waiting for him for a very long time."

The Dark Lord ran his forked tongue over his yellowed teeth, showcasing his excitement. "Bring him in at once, Lucius."

The wizard bowed his head as the decorated double doors swung open. There, a man with a body with more bones than flesh and more blood than skin became visible. He limped inside the grand entrance hall of The Dark Lord's palace, covered in nothing more than a worn-out burlap sack and the shackles restraining his wrists and ankles. His knees were barely off the expensive carpet, and his head hung low near them, hiding away his face with grown-out, untamed raven-colored hair.

No one needed to see his face to know who he was.

Everyone who was seated suddenly stood up to greet the visitor. "Ah yes! How lovely is it for you to finally drop by the estate, James Potter," The Dark Lord announced.

Potter's hazel eyes darted to him immediately, only focusing on the grey being dressed obnoxiously in gold. The reflective color burnt his eyes. "Shut it, Voldy," he countered hoarsely, spitting at the end for effect.

"_Crucio_," a voice cut through the air.

James collapsed to the floor, writhing in the worst pain he had ever felt. He was used to the Cruciatus Curse, but not like this. Certainly not just from one cast alone.

"He prefers The Dark Lord, and you will refer to him as such." The voice vibrated the room just from its piercing edge.

Barely withstanding a minor fraction of the pain, James gained enough strength to see the owner of the razor-sharp voice.

Stone-cold emerald green met murky caramel for the first time in thirteen years.

"_Lily_?" James hissed. "We thought you were dead!"

"_Crucio_," the word rolled off her tongue without a moment's hesitation. "I prefer The Dark Lady, and you will refer to me as such."

Even through the excruciating pain, he somehow managed to laugh at the redundancy of her words.

With a single brow raised, she icily demanded, "Speak of what is amusing, prisoner."

James shook his head to swat away the absurdity of his current situation. "Nothing, except that you're alive and torturing me right now. After discovering Snivellus's dead body with your ratty dress all those years ago, we thought the worst had happened and mourned for you for a long time. And to find out that you've just been here all along, ruling alongside Tommy-boy and torturing innocent lives for the fun of it? No wonder I suddenly had cold feet that morning."

"_CRUCIO_!" she roared. His body squirmed in agony in many unnatural ways as his body levitated and his neck connected with the strength of her hand. Her malicious eyes shot down his pathetic ones. "You listen here, you bloody piece of shit. I don't care if you're in the worst pain of your life that you wish you were dead, because you will _not_ die until I'm finished with you! Lily Evans died the day you abandoned her at the altar because you're a good-for-nothing, self-righteous prat. She felt so much fury coursing through her veins, and she had no idea what to do with it. Severus led her to the righteous path before tragically dying on account of underestimating her power, underestimating _my_ power. The Dark Lord helped me see my potential and what I'm meant to do with my life. He brought me peace and sanctity alongside tools to wield my outrage. In the end, we've uncovered that vanquishing people _who deserve it_ leads to the ultimate prize in life: eternal happiness. And I'm so close to that prize! All I need now is to _kill you_."

She towered over him. He cowered in complete fear.

With her lavish nails, she scratched the skin off his naked back and by the minute's end, all that was left in The Dark Lady's arms was decaying bones and melted flesh.

And for the first time in years, she felt the lightness possess over her entire being— one she'd been pursuing since their initial meeting in that tiny bedroom all those years ago. It was like meeting an old friend, even if she'd only met with it once.

But this time, the lightness was finally by her own doing.


End file.
